To Get "hooked" Up

The thought of him always come whenever I see people or things related to him. I stared at it and begin thinking oh him. Thinking so deeply... Then, it affect me for quite some time. 

I don't want this to happen. I don't want to related things regarding him but they just flow in my mind. So naturally!!! 

I admire people who has his hobby also what he amateur in. I get so deep in thoughts and the mind started to wonder. This is so not right...

Maybe the best way to entirely stop all thoughts even the slightest thing that I found on others that resemble him is to be Hooked Up! 

Be romantically involve with someone else will clearly wash off what had taken place in the past. To create new memories with this special someone. Then, to be totally linked to this person and be happy for rest of the time. Deeply in love and neglect all the unwanted thoughts. This should be the best way after all. 

I have yet to find this special someone to create a new life with me. To make new memories and enjoy love as a couple. Probably, this is why I am still in thoughts of the past. I'm not living in the past but I definitely miss all the things I did with another half. I hope I am able to find a compatible half soon. 

God Bless! 

xoxo

Why bother being affected by something you know you shouldn't be emo about when the only thing now is to be happy!!! 

Let the past be the past,

The present are meant to be embraced,

then, 

Anxiously endeavour for a pleasant future...

Lonely Moment

Whom can I turn to when I feel this way?

Where should I go when I am at the worst of my emotions?

Who can I share my sorrows when I am unhappy?

I miss having someone to share every thing with me!

I miss to be with someone who will care and concern of me!

I miss being in love and to be loved!

all by myself...

LAN Papers

Exams and it were finals on a Saturday!!! So not fun. Worst when they were LAN subjects!! Barely read the textbook because I had other papers yesterday and also sacrificed them to watch the royal wedding. Went there early in the morning, at 7+ and the corridor was filled with people. Started off with Malaysian Studies, one word bad! I just hope that I passed the subject. Not so much of reading last minute problem but it were all facts that I studied years ago yet I could not recall. I should just say I have no interest in it. I better pass the paper and not see it the rest of my life. 

Then, followed by Moral paper an hour later. I was at the library brushing up some facts tho the temptation to close my eyes were very strong. I did took a nap, long nap perhaps that was almost half and hour. Haha! Oh well, Moral was not meant to be studied from book but human nature, behavior, attitudes, practices and etc. So, some sort of I know what is right and what is wrong then can be applied. Well, there were some term I still do need to memorize like utilitarianism, pro life/pro choice and blah blah blah... The paper wasn't that bad after all. Obviously, I answered all the MCQs with the prefect gun in hand where as, the essay question I crap something. Daring? Yeap, because I already know how many marks I need to pass the whole paper from other assessments. Just hope that  would get at least 20 MCQs correct then that's it. 

These two subjects kept me so busy the whole semester. They even took a toll on me this month. The most assessment yet with one event each. I really really really want to pass both so that I don't need to repeat the same hassle anymore. 

Hah.. end of April! Done with year one. I hope I'm really done with it. Till results out...

The Royal Wedding of a Century

In the midst of year one finals these took place. Rushed home right after the paper and tuned in to the Live telecast of the royal wedding at 4pm. Hold on, I still have two more papers tomorrow. I hope the royal wedding is worth my time not studying for my LAN subjects. Then, I started readying so much about the Queen and other royal histories....

 perfect match with the best shot 

Duchess of Cambridge

walked down the aisle

 pronounced man and wife

long awaited kiss at the balcony

edited and added pictures

Prince William and Kate are joined by Margarita Armstrong-Jones, Miss Eliza Lopes, Miss Grace van Cutsem, Lady Louise Windsor, Master Tom Pettifer, Master William Lowther-Pinkerton

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (centre), Front row (left to right): Miss Grace van Cutsem, Miss Eliza Lopes, HRH The Duke of Edinburgh, HM The Queen, The Hon. Margarita Armstrong-Jones, Lady Louise Windsor, Master William Lowther-Pinkerton. Back Row (left to right): Master Tom Pettifer, HRH The Duchess of Cornwall, HRH The Prince of Wales, HRH Prince Henry of Wales, Mr Michael Middleton, Mrs Michael Middleton, Mr James Middleton, Miss Philippa Middleton

Here is a link for the official wedding pictures William and Kate.

p/s: This post if for personal remembrance of the royal wedding. Not valid for any broadcasting, profit making or other purposes. Pictures were outsourced from the internet. 

Moses's Confession of Love

Moses Chan made a rare Confession of Love

"Somewhere in life, there is an arrangement. If Heaven arranged for you to love this person, even if this person is bad; you will love him/her. Even if the person is very bad, you will continue to support." 

Agree much!!! 

My Concerned Lecturer

Dear Ms Lecturer,

Why??

Tell me WHY...

Why do you have to do this to me? 

Why did you walked out from the exam hall to have a word with me? 

Nothing happened. Not that I made a big huge mistake in my exam. Not that I copied! I handed in my script then walked out of the exam hall. I sat at the first room and Ms. was at the third room of the hall. I thought she didn't noticed that I have finished. So, when I walked out with me flipping through my book checking if I answered correctly; she came by and talked to me. Asking me "How was the paper?". Just when I'm not confident at all for her paper, she came by to show her concern. I answered the truth that I may not score for the paper. I will just get an AE and see her again. Definitely, she denied that and tried to boost me with some confidence and courage. She also asked "Why do  you looked so tired?". I smiled!!! Thank you very much. I really appreciate it but I know I didn't answer quite accurately in my exam. I am sorry, I may have let you down.

That's about it.

Of all why me? 

There were two hundred plus student taking her paper. Out of all, why did she came to me? 

I think I know and she knows, we both liked each other. Haha!!! Luckily she is a female lecturer. I have a feeling she is very concern of me. I think she do favor me. Not self praising but intuitionally. I remembered once, my assignment had some complications. A few others too, so she called the students' names loud and clear in the lecture. When it was mine, she removed the mic and whispered my name to me with eye contact. Lol...! Maybe she doesn't want to embarrass me. Another thing was she is a some sort strict lecturer. I went to her office to check my marks. At the same time, around ten psychology students were there too. She talked to them loudly (kinda rough) but when it was my turn, she was so soft and motherly. Wow!!! Erm... I gave her a feeling that I am soft spoken, I presumed. So, every time when I consult her she speaks very softly. 

Looks like there is an undefined student and lecturer bond. 

I am feeling very bad for not doing well.

Sorry, to myself and Ms.!

Not that I didn't revise. I did. I tried my best but I can't cramp everything in my brains unless I have a data space to store them all. I always wish I do have one. I studied the chapters that she asked to focus on. The area that will be tested. I shouldn't have focused so much on the parts were tested in the assignment. Besides, so many chapters but so little were tested. If I knew, I should have just revised those few chapters. Grr!!!

Once again, my bad for burning the mid night oil.

Disappointed you...

But, thanks for the encouragement. 

I do appreciate special bond like this. Not every educator you can talked to and consult them. Some give a very unfriendly stern feeling that you would want to run away every time you see them. Some give a so annoying feeling like I have one lecturer now. I dislike that lecturer because she act and dress inappropriately to uni. In my whole schooling day, I had a few teachers who were close to me still counting though. Till today they still keep in touch with me. But, one thing I get offended and I dislike very much. I can say I hate it when people said "favoritism". If it's that matter, I would get what I want easily from my educator. Not once i ever tried to use the bond to get what I want. I will try my best to achieve it and not use favoritism. People just don't get it or they are just jealous. Too bad for them. 

I am selfish for My DAD!

This is the time when I most feel like 

I need to be taken care of

I need someone to be by my side

I need someone to console me

I need a warm and secure hug

Always and it's always family problems that pull me down, especially when I think of the negative side of me in the family. I do not feel belonged at times. I am tired of being the independent one at home. 

A part from it, my sister just told me something and I left the conversation. I just didn't bother to reply because I know the consequences if it's real. I know what will my parents do for her if she is really pregnant. I am very sorry for not being happy for her. I am more concern for my parents and their work than my sister. My mum were to go over to take care of her and not help my dad. I am worried for my dad, if he is able to bare with all the work at this age and energy level. I felt that I am selfish, I am selfish for my dad! 

A friend did her best to comfort me but I am not convinced at all. I'd really appreciate for being there for me.  Thank you so much, dear. Yet, I am very sorry!