App via FB

Another day started of with being EMO

It was much better later

Yet, I am still thinking of him the who day

Not very happy with that

But, I try to distract myself  =)

Then, took an application 

phrases 4 fun on Facebook

What would be the topic of your chat with your ex? 

"the pain of breaking up"

I doubt I will ever get to chat with me.

No chance at all, never ever

Sigh...

Let's not think of it and live everyday with a smile!

I am E.M.O.

I always forget how to FORGET YOU!!!

I Miss You

~the hottest love has the coldest end~

Our photo - The Last and For All

I came across the only picture taken with my phone when we were sweetly together as a couple. Every time when I looked at that picture, I felt so love when I was with you. Then when you first left, I looked at the photograph of you kissing my cheek makes me cry. Now, I miss you once again when I just saw the photo. I honestly say that I felt so loved, so contented and so sweet in the picture. I miss being in someone's arms, I want someone to pamper me and I need to be owned. I miss all of that.

I miss jerkie. Thus, I went to his FB to see how is he doing. As I scrolled down the page, post after post he was doing fine till a post he said he just got himself home after a Hit & Run accident. Bruises all over and body aches. He could not grab whole oh the driver because by the time he got up and held his bike, that fellow left. The driver was such a nuisance, no sympathy and extremely irresponsible. Ouch... pain on his body!! 

I felt uneasy too. I wished I was there or I know how is he now. Though, he is not as significant anymore but he is still someone I knew. I feel sorry whenever any of my friends no matter close nor I just met you once, I don't want to see mishaps involving them. Gah....... Is he severely injured? Skinned arms for sure. Sigh... 

Then again, I know him well enough. I know how he rides his bike. Can't he just ride carefully and be cautious on the road. Every road users are to be responsible and have the duty to care while you're on the road. Well, knowing him who can't even drive patiently just can't be a safe user. I have no doubt that he rode like a mad jerk. Sometimes, I think that he too the cause of accident. He just don't learn after several times of accidents. Bad luck, jerkie!!!

The last and for all I stared at the photo and that's it. The photograph is now kept in a folder that I will not see at any time. I avoid looking at it and I restrict myself from opening that folder because it is filled with moments of you and me, the life we once went through together and now it's a memory for me. Take care, jerkie...

A picture filled with feelings and emotions

Miss - Missing - Missed

You're not My Topics anymore

No matter how much I deny that it does not matters me anymore, how much I don't want to talk about it, a gazzilion times I tell myself to not leave in the past and let the past be the past; I still do think of the jerk whenever I see your name, things that you're involve in, places that you belong to and so on. Even the college's name appears, it's only you. Sigh! Deep in my heart, there is still a cling that I am not fully forgotten about you. Though I don't look like a dead body and depressed but it's hurts. I may smile cheerfully and laugh of loud every day, I do keep quiet and ponder upon our past. I still get upset you no long be with me. Day by day, the time I think of you differs, I admit that my mind is occupied by someone else. However, I am heavy hearted to let go fully of you in my heart. Yet, I have to because you no longer know me. This is sad.

I am glad to say that I don't cry anymore. Though I feel like it sometimes but the tears are all dried up. No more tears are meant for you, jerk. I am not the same since then. I avoid from talking about you, I dislike seeing people that know you. I feel better this way. I am so much happier not relating you in my topics every time. I am even happier when people come and tell me that 'Hey, you looked so much better now. The me that they once knows is back!' How glad when I heard that. Hugs...

I am now very HAPPY.

I SMILE cheerfully.

I am ENJOYing life.

Live - Laugh - Love

Tofu [YOU] gonna Expire

I went over to Giant, just above my Uni to get some Tofus for aunt.

Grab the Tofus, check the expiry date

---> his Birthday 

Argh... WTH???

I just wish he will expire as the same day as the Tofu.

How nice if that will actually happen!

The Tofu's expiry date is yours too.

I just wish, A wish that will never be true...

You are having nightmares

You said your past is haunting you

I saw it and I am unhappy too

I want to be a part of your life

You ignored me

You didn't allow me to share your pain

I sometimes still hope to be yours

I know that is so naive

Love Rehab

You CHARMED Me

I am so attracted to you

I am so addicted to you

I am very much drugged by you

I have diabetics due to your sweetness

I need you so much

I always think of you

I miss you terribly

My love for you is never ending

Your love was never enough

Now, nothing is left

Only a broken heart

Being emotional at all times

Tonnes of tears shed

Depression

Negativity rules my world

I want you so badly

I need to be send to the rehab

Any Love Rehab in town

The feelings are not gone

DYING

My past is haunting me

I can't seem to forget

Or is it me that don't want to let go

Everything keeps running in my mind

Everytime I thought of you, I feel like crying

Memories are too sweet to be erased

Heartbreak is too painful to go through 

My heart aches

I can't keep loving you

Because you do not feel the same for me

I think of you most of the time

When I sleep, I dream of you

I wonder if I ever cross you mind

But I doubt it

I have not forgotten you

All I know that you've already forgotten me

I want to meet you again but I can't

I will never let go if I ever see you again

I love you

I miss you

I need you

I want you

Together we create a journey of our own

That's a wish that will never come true

I dream, I wish, I hope

=(

What a Moody day

Not a good day after all

Very moody through the whole day

Since I woke up

The first person who talked to me was my aunt

Sorry aunt, I answered bluntly

Didn't wanna talk till I am in Uni was still the same

Not wanting to talk to friends

Felt irritated at times

Keeping quiet

The mood was just not there today

So guessed it's good to concentrate in class since I wasn't into talking

Getting some care from some friends moved me to tears

I highly appreciated their care

Thank you so much though I didn't give any good responses

Sometimes, I just needed my time alone

Apologies on that.

Moody all day long

As usual, drove home after Uni

Feeling very emotional and I cried

I promised myself that I will not cry while driving

Especially raining

Dangerous and Scary

But I just did it today

I can't hold my tears so I let myself to cry aloud in the car

It was raining heavily, massive traffic congestion and me crying

Sighs...

Many many hugs needed T_T

That Slutt

Sat under the shower tearing not knowing why.

Being emotional after a good sharing session with Ade.

Self reflection on my past. Sighs...

Is late, tired and I thought of tucking in to bed slightly earlier.

Rolling left and right but I can't seem to fall asleep.

Online with my phone, browsing the net and Facebooking.

Stalked him because I missed him.

Here come the story of that SLUTT.

What a Capital B you are.

You made me dislike you to the max, capital B.

Relationship status from engaged to it's complicated.

Now I know that the chats you had with him were roughly on your relationships.

Hey Slutt, just like to mess around. 

Be happy and contented with your own.

Instead of going around, partying and kissing guys randomly. 

Gone, he is gone.

Is he going to be with her?

I wouldn't know.

All I know is I am so sad.

Facing the reality that I don't wish to. 

This is another night I will cry myself to sleep.

Goodnight )':

T_T

His intimate picture

I was still upset after I saw you the other day

Missing you so much

Thinking of you every time

Wishing, Hoping and Dreaming

I can't seem to let go

Then, I saw your latest profile picture just

Intimately with a so called model, very slutty one

You were posing like you're trying to kiss her

She posed like showing a kiss to the camera

Slutt who has a boyfriend

When I saw the picture

It was like as though acid poured on a wounded skin

My heart feels bad

I was about to tear at that moment

I immediately close the page

I feel sad till now but I didn't cry

Is pain but I guess I have to not care

I do not have a choice

I am tearing inside

I am crying in me

I am feeling as bad as I have no words to describe

I am sad

I am sad

I am sad

People often say, A picture speaks A thousand words


This is the time I don't wish it means anything


Jealousy, Hatred, Love, Miss or what?

*sighs*

I know how bad I feel and I know is bad for me mentally

I am so very sad no matter what =(

hope to smile

cried two days ago

:'(

sad the day before



=(

sad yesterday

):

sad today

|:

SMILE tomorrow and every day ahead

=)

:)

(:

=D


Don't worry, Be happy

As I was facebook-ing

Every friend's page I go

I see your little profile picture by the side

I tried my very best to not click on it

I've already been thinking of you the whole day

I'd even have the urge to give you a buzz

Yet, I didn't allow myself to because I don't want an unwanted answer

How could I not wanting to see your profile

At last, I went to your profile

I stared at your picture

My heart beat increases

I read your status posts, friends' posts and comments

The feeling of wanting to be beside you knocked me down

Not knowing how to describe my feelings

I think I need you now

I wonder if I do come across your mind at any time

It happens to me all the time

I miss you once again

I miss you so much

T_T


:'(

you you you

thinking of you the whole day

wondering | wishing | wanting

if you are still with me

missing you

just because i saw you yesterday

every moment i close my eyes i see you 

it was so hard to forget you once again

thinking if i really want to forget you

is so hard to control myself

i miss you 

Just when we saw each other

The first day of a brand new month

A bad day to be in the mall

or

It's just God's command to check how am I

A surprise

 or

A disappointment

My unwanted moment

An unbelievable yet true situation

Saw him equipped with all his photog gadgets

He was going up the escalator

Looking at me on his way up

I was on the opposite site going down

Looking at my phone

I didn't realized till I looked to the other side

Someone who looks familiar then I looked again

It was him

Not a greet of Hi nor a simple smile from him

He immediately turned his head straight

I wondered why

I was just looking down

I assumed I looked just fine

We passed each other

He still looked the same

The thin him with his black jacket

Hair much longer

I took a second glance as I was down

He was still on the way up

I was then very emotional

I continue walking in the mall

Wishing I will not bump into him again

Being sad and was about to cry

I told myself not to because I was with eyeliners

I don't want that messy look

Off to a shop to get something 

The more costly, the better I feel

I shop to kill my sorrows

But it didn't helped

Just a reason to buy things perhaps

Anyway, I don't regret buying them

I felt very sad

I felt like crying out loud

But I didn't yet I choose to sleep it off

Not feeling any better now

Tears kept rolling down my cheeks

The feeling is killing me silently

I used to be walking beside him

Now, opposite him

I dislike the loneliness

I wished I am still beside him

Reflecting upon our past

We used to be walking side by side

Interlocking fingers between the spaces in the hands

Hugging tightly enjoying every moment

Like a fairy tale

I have a feeling of missing him

If I am given a wish

I'll just wish that he will be mine forever

If only I could be with him now

I will not feel unloved, unwanted and unhappy

I feel so lonely

All I want is

Us going through every moment in life together

I always have a naive thinking that

He will come back to me one day

How I wish that will really happen

I often foresee us being happily married

Forever till death do us apart

How silly can I be

If you love me, I'll love you

If you were mine, I'll be yours

If you stand beside me, I'll stand beside you

='(

Tunes of My Heart

I had a Bad Romance in the past




Sometimes, I feel that I Need You Now




It's all because Your Love Is My Drug

A romance that was sweet turned bitter affecting me to need you even after you left because I am drugged by you causing an addiction to love.

~ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ~

News Feed : Hid

Latest updates : photos

- 2nd Hennessy Artistry 2010  @ Zouk KL -

Studied his face for the final time

Buried it into my heart :'(

Clicked on the *hide* button

Hide that person

Mission Accomplished

yay ^^

Not gonna see any

updates about that person anymore

Is the first few hours

I hope I can control myself

Have faith in me

Give me the courage

Be obedient to maintain strong

Carry on to make an effort to move on

Be happy as deserved

Smile =D

Tu Me Manques

I never wanna say it but I miss you suddenly

I miss all the times we had together

A big part of my time in the first quarter of 2010 was with you

You once loved me deeply madly affecting me to open my heart just for you

Soon when I go crazy about you the uncertainty occured 

You hurt me melancholically leaving scars in my heart unheal till now

Not knowing when I will fully move on

I know how much I miss you

However

I have a whole loads of reasons

I shouldn't miss you anymore

Just a sudden strike of the past

Came across my mind and soul

I miss you

Soon

I will not miss you

~Tu Me Manques~

News Feed

Guess what...

I haven't hide yet.

Last night,

I told myself that I will

by the next update.

Yet, I haven't do it!

Yup, there was some updates;

I saw

new friends added,

profile picture changed,

But

No status update.

Anyway, the main thing is

I should just hide it.

Said is easier than done!!!

I have no heart to do so.

However,

I know I have to

and

I will make myself to do it.

Is not one day

because that one day will not arrive.

Is

Now or Never!!!

By the next update,

no matter what just do it.

Do it and I will be better *maybe*

I may move on faster,

will I ?

I dislike you but I still think of you

I am feeling bored. In mixture of feelings, loneliness and emotional. Somehow, I feel like blogging but I didn't want to write anything that relates him anymore. I know I should stop writing about him because it will not help me to forget him. I hope this will be the last one. However, I will not promise that.

I don't know how to describe my feeling towards him now. I dislike him and I still think of him at the same time. Do I still miss him? I hope not.

I wouldn't want to know what is going on around him and his life. Eventually, I'd just click on it. Gosh, how can I stop myself from doing that.

I know the best way is to remove him from my friends list on FB. Then, there will be a total cut off from him. I am heavy-hearted to do so. FB  is my only resource that I know how is he. Argh...

I know, I said I should stop knowing things about him and I am also stubborn to remove him from FB. Goodness, I wish I didn't have to choose.

I have another reason why I didn't want to do the latter is because it will be awkward if I were to add him again in future. No one knows what is going to happen in future. Well, I hope we can be friends. Looking at the situation now, it will not happen. Oh dear...

Guess I have a wiser option. That is to hide him on my News Feed in FB. I think I will prolly do that in order to not be emo anymore. Apparently, I did it few times but I deactivated it immediately because I still want to see it. Yes, I see and I am trying not to "stalk" him.

Hide, not to hide. Hide, not to hide. Hide, not to hide. Hide, no to Hide.

I think and guess is best to hide. Is going to be tough the first day of doing so because the anxious to know will be there. As time goes by, I will forget him entirely by doing so, I wish.

So, let's do it...

It's now or Never!!!

sobs sobs  ="(

Goodbye, once my dear baby.

No matter what, I know you exist and I do think of you.

I wish God will arrange you and I to be together that we have no choice but to be lovers.

A difficult decision.

A hard option.

A very emotional situation.

A feeling that kills.

A moment to shed some tears.

A sad Goodbye.

God Bless