Haven’t been posting much,
countable posts for the past one year.
I've always thought of writing
again but I couldn't push myself to do it with whatever reasons I may be
procrastinating with. But, I have always enjoy writing because my blog has been
a medium for me to express my feelings and most importantly some things that
can’t be told or shared through telling my close buds.
I am taking the opportunity
over lunch hour now write. Lately and usually I have been going out for lunches
with colleagues. When I first joined this company in July 2015, I don’t eat
lunch or I bring my own lunch box. Then, I came to know some colleagues, joined
the clan and later I have a close colleague who I lunch with. This colleague is
on half day today and I had Nasi Lemak at 10ish. Hence, skipping lunch,
actually I still can fill my stomach if you were to ask me.
Work?!
It has been stressful and
hectic. Sometimes, it is taking a toll on my emotions and motivations to
continue working here. I left my previous job mostly because of the people and
joined my new and current company. Currently getting along with my own
colleagues but there are some quite difficult people all around. I guess that
is pretty normal for all companies. That’s about people. Now, about the
workload. Can I just skip this topic already? Yes, to not rant about it. Just
yesterday that I was at the verge to breakdown. I sat and stared at the papers
on my tables and my email, I didn't know where and how to start. I got so upset
and I could just cry. I controlled my emotions.
Gossshhhhhhh… Guess what?!
My PC just shut down on its
own a moment ago. Auto shut down it did.
Life?!
Life has been good apart from
working till past 8pm on most of my days. Definitely there are ups and downs in
life. Family, friends, self….overall not too bad. Oh hey, I am still alive. All
that I am thankful for.
Relationship?!
Very much Single and
Available. Currently hunting for a new prey and I most definitely hope that
this should be “The ONE” or at least work together in the relation to achieve
our lifetime together. Yes, I am ready to settle down if I am to have someone
who thinks the same as me and whom I am willing to be with him for the rest of
my life. In fact, my past loves are those that I did thought of being with them
for the rest of our lives together, to grow old and till death do us apart.
But, things didn’t work out the way I always dream of with them. Hence, moved
on and hope that one day I will finally encounter this one special person whom
we both will be as ONE.
A little bit more about the
lovelife, I have been having this one person by my side but he is not
exclusively my boyfriend. I have been very upset before, thought of doing
whatever that could hurt myself just so that he will care for me and I also
have tried a few times to leave him. All didn't work out including my love for
him. I do love and care for him a lot and he is significant to me. But, I guess
I have been tired over having this not-exclusively-mine relationship for the
past five years. I have built my own courage, sufficient time I had for myself
and last year, in 2015 that I finally decided to walk out of this. Which means I
have walked out of his life. Walked out of a life that I myself was so into
with this significant person I have for all these years. I missed him dearly.
Nonetheless, I am not regretting and I did not regret spending my time with
this person even though we are not exclusively together. Definitely I was sad
then but I wasn't like how my previous attempts that I goes back to him. This
time I succeeded, I do think of him sometimes and that’s when the missing him
moments come by, feelings on this soon suppresses. I am glad. I am so glad,
happy, relieved; you named it. Oh ya…my pals were telling me how proud they
felt for me because I have finally walked out of it. Best compliment I think I
gotten from this was “You looked much happier now”. Then, I puzzled…if I looked
that unhappy last time. It’s alright, I am feeling goof, fine and happy now.
Greatest achievement in 2015 was this. I am happy and proud! I called it an achievement
in my life just yet because I have few attempts previously but didn't worked.
2015 it did. YAY!!! *pats on the back for myself*
Hmmmmm…. I’ll let this be a
post for now. Add ons for 2015 shall be later perhaps. Time to start work again
too. I would want to leave office early today. Till then.
Happy New Year!!!
Happy Twenty Sixteen!!!
