PMS

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Irritated

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Emo

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I NEED YOU

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period

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Pain

  =_=  

 

='(

Culprit : Memories

Is not that I don't want to move one

Is not that I don't want to forget you

Is not that I don't want to delete you from my life

I realise that I am feeling very sad is not what you did that hurt me

Is the memories we had that haunt me

The memories that made me feel lonely, sad and emo

It made me feel that I need you

Missing you in my life is just so miserable

The memories that are the ones holding me back

I know that memories shouldn't be the reason

I just can't help it

It's all too sweet to be given up

Stop haunting me, I want to move on...

Many people love me

They do not want to see me like this

Torturing myself

Being unhappy every day

Crying all the time

When the memories flashes in my head

Even every time before I sleep

The biggest Culprit ---> MEMORIES 

Sigh....memories, memories, memories

Do you remember, do you remember, do you remember
All the times we had
All the good times we had

A part from good times we had
You were at your lowest at some point of time
I was there for you
Where were you when I needed you
You left me all alone
sobz sobz 

What is the opposite of two?
A lonely you and A lonely me
In my case, A lonely me 
A lonely me... sobz sobz 
I like being alone but I dislike being lonely  =(

You do no know my heart

You said you want unlimited freedom is just an excuse
That I will also accept
Do I still need any requirements to hold your hand
I just want to be behind your back
Someday I will be your best friend 
Vexatious will bear the same tears back now

I do not know your heart would like to discuss the final
Even if love could flow out and worn my hands
You do not understand my heart
Sometimes I really never wanna look back
Just to let go everything
Unfortunately, I have been unable to start 
All that I am still here

Once if I could hold your hands
Is there any requirements needed
I only want to be behind you
and someday I'll be your best friend
Vexatious will bear the same tears back now

I do not know your heart would like to discuss the final
Even if love have to go and worn my hands
You do not understand my heart
I really never wanna look back
Just to let everything fly away
Unfortunately, I have been unable to start
All that is no way to go

Looking for a reason, so I turned away
Why this time I discovered you feel uncomfortable

I do not know your heart would like to discuss the final
Even if I have to go, I will embrace the change gentlely
You do no understand my heart that
Sometimes I really wanna let go everything
Unfortunately, I am unable to do it in the end
All that I have no way to go

[ This is a chinese song sand by Linda Chung. Opps, I don't know the title of the song.  Is known as "You do not know my heart". The translation is something like this. Sorry for the bad translation but the meaning is there. It is very nice to hear and the song speaks my feelings. I like it very much but is not good to hear it most of the time because it's sad. The first verse of the song is so so so terribly true. Been there, done that. But not being his best friend. ] 

Emo-ing Emo-ness

Forget the times you walked by

Forget the times you've made me cry

Forget the times you held my hand

Forget the sweet things if I can

I can no longer pretend

I have to remember now that

You're just A Friend

 

Ask me why I keep on loving you when it's clear that you dont feel the same way for me. The problem is that as much as I can't force you to love me. I can't force myself to stop loving you.

There is a hole in the world where you used to be. Which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime and falling in at night. I think of you everytime before I fall asleep. I miss you like hell.

You came into my life and quickly go. Stay for a while, leave footprints in my heart and we are never ever the same. I wish you never left. Precisely, I wish I never knew you.

Fragile but Broken

into pieces

Tiny tiny ones

Scattered all around

that is so hard to fix them back

Into a whole 

HEART 

filled with love 

Despite how you have treated me, despite what others have said about you. I know I should move on and not to miss you. I do not choose to miss you. But I feel that I need you. I miss you so terribly much that if you give me a chance, I will tell that to your face.  I didn't know that life will be so hard without you. I never want to be like this. I don't want you in my life because you do not think the same way. I want to be the one that everyone used to know except. I am not the same now. I didn't know that moving on will be this tough.

Are you the lucky one?

Who is the lucky one?


The boy?

or

The girl?




The boy is lucky when he is the first one for her.



The girl is lucky when she is the last one for him.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

When

When I see you, I am melted by you.

When I don't see you, I miss you.

When I think of you, I need you.

When I see your picture, I am attracted to you.

When you smile, I like you.

When you whispered, I love you.

When you are emotionally down, I am worst.

When you don't talk to me, I feel miserable.

When you ignored me, I was thorn into pieces.

When you left, I was lost.

BUT...

When I think of your character, I feel sick and disgusted.

When I hear the voices of what others said about you, I feel sorry for you.

When I see the memories flashed, I embrace it as a good lesson learnt. 

I will never be the same anymore.

Broken Heart

My first broken heart...

Exactly a month had past.

I still do feel that I need you sometimes.

I know that I need to forget you.

Soon, that will happen...

< / 3

What a Common Name?

The same name,

Is everywhere and anywhere...

I hear it for the whole of three days in KVC...

It disturbed me...

It makes me think of you...

It makes me miss you a lil...

I'll miss you more if I wasn't that busy...

But thank god, I am extremely busy...



The same name,

I know I will hear...

It's a common name, honey...

Is just not only him alone...

Accept the wonderful name...



The same name,

The OT here with the name was kind...

He said I can call him any other names...

That is just so nice of him...

But I still call the OT by the common name...



The same name,

The OT is someone else...

But you also have the same name...

I think of you sometimes...

Is just funny when I hear the name...

It's you, It's you, It's you...

............................The NAME..............................

Perfect Match

I took this quiz on FB. Only one simple question asked. Well, yea because the horoscope determines the outcome of the Perfect Match. Sometimes, you just have to believe what your horoscope says about you.

Here is the post...

For DW who have zodiac Pisces, below are their perfect match criteria :

Perfect Partners : Cancer, Scorpio

Nearly Perfect Partners : Taurus , Capricorn

Like Minded Souls : Pisces

Opposites You're Attracted To : Leo, Libra

Learn From Your Differences : Aries, Aquarius

Not Your Destiny : Gemini, Sagittarius

Astrological Hell : Virgo

Opposites attract,

Two person from two different world wanting to be together. It will not work if only one party is working hard to maintain the relationship.

2 different thinking, 

2 different prospect, 

2 different lifestyle, 

2 different wants & needs, 

2 different purpose in life.

I just don't understand how two person so different can be attracted.

Perhaps, it may only attracts for a certain time frame and love fades when the difference are obvious.

I can't deny that opposites don't attract because I've been there, done that.

Opposites DO attract!!!

But not all will work out the way you want it to be. 
It may not be a fairytale.  

It's beauty that captures the attention,
Personality that captures the HEART.

de Sound

It always keeps coming back,

The sound of missing you.

I hear it all around,

The sound of missing you.

The silence is so loud,

The sound of missing you.

I suddenly feel that I need you...

I need you to be by my side...

=(

But I know that will never happen...

Why do I still feel that way?

Power within

sometimes there is no next time

no second chance,

              no time out..

sometimes...

                 it's now

                                                or never

ignite positive power from within

Joy & Laughter

 
The title says it all.

It is also the 22nd post overall.

I love the number 22. Yes, I love it.

So I want it to be a happy post.

A post that that I want you to feel my joy.

It's a thursday and I had lots of fun.

It was a great day.

A great accompany.

A wholesome of.......

Good food, Long chat and uncountable photo shots.

Delicious Peranakan cuisine.

A man that told me things from the male's point of view.

I realise something.

Wonderful pictures taken.

In conjunction with Fashion Week at MV.

Highway to Fashion!!!

Funky shots taken =)

Got the first "Red Bomb" since I'm a young adult.

Omg...got to start dieting from now for a nice dress, learn how to dance.

Once our facilitator watching us grow up to be...

Fine and Pretty girls!!! ^_^  *blush*

Back when he was facilitator, being scary at times.

Now, we talked about anything.

From men to women to boobs to condoms to adult's toys.

Wow, can't imagine though...

Just realised that...

Time flies!!!

Memories to be cherished.

The man will be missed.

More to come..

Will blog once I get the pics.

How I wish I got the pics... Hmmm...

♥ ♥ ♥

Janji

Anda telah memungkiri janjimu. Harapanku padamu telah dihapuskan. Akan ku ingati segalanya.

Akan tetapi, adakah anda benar-benar memungkiri janji itu? Ataupun anda teramat sibuk sangat...

Adakah anda telah melupakan saya?

Begitu senangnya mu melupakan seeseorang...

Tahukah anda akan perasanan ku...

Betapa susahnya untuk ku melupakan mu...

Amat ku merindui mu...

Sehingga kini, hanya saya sendiri yang menganggap bahawa anda telah memungkiri janjimu. Permintaan ku padamu buat terakhir sekali. Saya rasa iaitu tidak melampau langsung.

Pelbagai persoalan yang timbul dalam hatiku. Saya tahu bahawa saya mesti mengurangakan keraguan dalam hati, keinginan untuk mengetahui keadaan mu.

Sesuatu yang telah saya lakukan di luar kawalan hati. Saya tidak perlu nyatakan perbuatan itu. Saya hanya akan nyatakan bahawa saya tahu anda tidak memungkiri janji tersebut. Leganya...!!!

Walau bagaimanapun, saya tahu saya perlu menghentikan dan mengelakkan diri ku daripada mu. Segala yang berkaitan dengan mu. Saya mesti dan wajib lepaskan genggaman mu dalam hati ku.

Hanya hati yang tahu perasanannya. Apa yang telah berlaku telahpun berlalu. Bahkan segalanya akan menjadi kenangan. Kenangan-kenangan bagaikan pengajaran dan pengalaman hidup.

Kemanisan dan kepahitan yang ku gengami sekuat-kuatnya akan ku lepaskan suatu hari nanti. Lama-kelamaan, perasaan terhadap mu akan mejadi pudar. Kejayaan itu wajib ku capaikan...

Thinking of You...

I think I really miss you. I have been thinking of you more often. I was better but it started again last Wednesday when I dreamt of you. What was worst is that I dreamt like more than three times in five days. Just you, of you and you - what a dream?!?! What is wrong with me? I just can't stop thinking of you. I want to get you out my head. Right now!!! I don't want you, in my head. I don't want you, in my life. I just don't want you!!! Go away...

I miss you 

I miss your smile
I miss your voice 
I miss talking to you
I miss you tickling me

I miss you staring at me
I miss you disturbing me
I miss you singing to me

I miss being in your arms 
I miss you comforting me
I miss lying on your chest
I miss the way you call me

I miss you making me smile

I miss your small narrow eyes
I miss when we laughed together
I miss cuddling and snuggling you

I miss listening to your heartbeats  
I miss resting my head on your shoulder

I miss you hugging me closely and tightly

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ I MISS YOU ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I miss all of that so terribly much. I miss more then those that I have mentioned. I miss you so much. I wish I can just shout out loud to you that I Miss You. No, I can't because you weren't here with me anymore. 

Nothing can stop me from thinking of you. I wish I can control my mind and my heart. My soul lost to no where just thinking of you. 

The memories are too sweet to be kept, it's as though everything happened just yesterday and now that I am alone. The sadness seems so deep in my heart  that only comes and hurt when I remind myself.  

The memories that I cherish seems to overpower the sorrows. Some memories I wish to delete, just so they stop bothering my mind. 

I feel like I am so obsessed with you and I dislike that...

I feel that we've parted  for a long time, but it was actually not long ago. It seems like it was so long and I am still missing you. The world is so depopulated without you.

I hope it will be better with time. I really want the sorrows to fly away on the wings of time.

I like being alone but I never like being lonely.

Moody Monday

What a day?

I was so moody.

Partially, because I was tired and sleepy.

Double dosed of coffee kept me awake but not capturing my soul.

A lil of Monday blues and Camp blues.

Missing everyone back in the convention.

The impact of post convention.

That was certainly not the cause of me being moody.

Significantly,

I was thinking of you.

Day dreaming all the time.

No response in conversations.

Silence makes it scary.

Staring at no where,

Just thinking of you.

It all made me moody.

My friends tried cheering me up,

No difference...I remain silence after awhile.

Sorry but thanks and I really appreciate the accompany.

I cheered myself up by spending on a soft toy.

But it didn't help much.

I felt moody all day long.

Argh...

But I love the Teddy though. *heart*

           xoxo Shy Bear xoxo

A lovely Teddy Bear.

So shy...

So lovely...

So cute...

~xoxo~

I've never seen you online since we're no longer together. 

You told me

and 

You reminded me again 

that you will not...

...will not delete me from your fb and msn!!!

But I don't see you online. 

I assumed that you've blocked me.

In order for me to feel better,

I decided to BLOCK you in my contact list.

*smiled*

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but

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curious

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How are you lately?

What have you been up to?

How's your studies?

and more

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Then again, why do I still bother...

...because

I still miss you much

~ WEDNESDAY ~

=(

- pray for me -

- wish me luck -

- god bless -

Force FORCE force - Don't

I am already forcing myself so much.

I am working very hard to my very best.

Do you know, I try very hard not to think.

The harder I try, the more pain.

I will concentrate more.

It is so suffocating.

I am tired too.

Don't make me delete entirely.

Is very easy to click on the delete button!

Is more easier said then done.

Is not by just clicking on the delete button.

Is all in my heart and mind.

I am a human with a heart filled with feelings.

I need time.

What will I gain from deleting the contacts?

You will forget gradually and move on faster.

If I delete, I'll be even worst.

Assumption is always different from reality.

That doesn't apply to me.

I will not move on at all then.

You don't mind not listening to people?

I do listen but I have a choice too.

If I didn't listen at all, how did I even stood up again?

There is no progress at all.

I felt that there were progress of me moving on.

Bit by bit everyday.

Till today I felt I did moved on quite a bit.

Don't push me to the edge.

I can't breath.

I can't take it.

Then I will be away from all of you.

Believe me that one day I will be able to get over it.

Have faith in me.

I am a strong girl but fragile at this point of time.

I will get better with time.

Trust me.

One day I will be the cheerful one you all once knew.

Days that I will not want it to come...

 
This week...

Monday - was past because it was yesterday. Presentation was fine!!!

Wednesday - WTH...If I see you and I will be who I am.. Smile gracefully (hope I can do it, pray for me)

Saturday - Oh no... But will have a whole loads of support from my fellow Lasallians =)

The road seems longer

 
I remembered that day.

Is still so fresh in my mind.

That particular day was raining like cats and dogs.

I was driving home after classes.

I was crying tremendously just like the weather.

The route seems so long...



It has been weeks since then.

I still feels the same whenever it is raining heavily while I am driving.

The same route home after class and the same weather.

The journey home seems tougher and longer.

I wonder...

COmforts, Advices and Someone - I need

I am trying my best.

I force myself to the max till it suffocates me.

I could not bear the suffocating.

I keep it to myself.

But, when I can't stand it...

I will share it out to my closests.

Some will give advice.

Don't force yourself.


Don't be too harsh to yourself.


Don't worry yourself too much.


Can't be denied that you felt that way.


It will be better as time goes by.

Some will just listen.

Be strong.

You deserve someone better. 

You're better off without him. 

You can do it.

We love you.

All I need are the comforts, advices and someone be there to listen.

I MISS YOU

=(

:'(

sobz sobz

How are you?

When you meet someone, first thing will be this question.

The answer will always be - I am fine, thank you.

I still give that answer lately. 

Is an Honest Mistake.

The truth is that I am not fine at all.

How am I suppose to tell people that I am having hard times?

I will just answer that I am fine.

A delightful smile.

I smiled pleasantly and I may looked happy.

Do that smile really resemble my situation.

I can certainly say no. 

I smile but I am not happy. 

Looks can be deceiving.

The true feeling reveals.

I am so down.

The pain hurts and is killing me tenderly.

I am dying inside.

I am not as fine as my smile tells you. 

Hard to hold back...

The night when it's all over was the only time I cried tremendously. It seems like the whole world came to an end. I was so lost but I went to bed. Tears came filling my closed eyes when was in bed, I was soon asleep. The next day, the very silly me to cry in public as I can hold back my tears everytime. It was the same this time that I did it in college. I was acting to be strong and attentive. However, I can't stop the tears falling down my face silently. I stopped after sometime. Then, I told myself not to shed a single drop of tear anymore. I didn't, ever since till today when I was facebooking with two friends whose hearts were broken too. I just could not hold back my tears. I am forcing myself too hard to not think. Not let it bother me, not to let it hurt me, not to cry. Which ended up even worst. I am tired of it and I cried once again. I feel much better after that but I am still feeling emotional. I realise that I am not over him. I do miss him a lot. I still want to care for him. 

I miss you much =(

sobz sobz sobz

disturbed =(

Perhaps, I shouldn't even bother looking any event that you will be attending. It doesn't matters me at all no matter where those events are held and you will be attending all of them. However, not this particular event. Sigh...it will be held at my college, directly the block where my classes are. Why must it be there and why must it be this time??? Why why why why WHY??

If we are to bump into each other on that day, how will I react. I am thinking how will I feel there and then. Am I able to control my feelings? Do I have the courage to see you? I wonder if you will treat me as a friend of yours. If you are, will you greet me, will you talk to me, will you give me a hug...? All the uncertainties. The question marks keep me pondering!

I am just so naive to allow all these to bother me. It disturbed me once I saw the venue of the event. I feel like skipping class just for that day. But, why shall I, just because he will be there. Face the reality. I must not let him know that I am not completely over him. I have to show him that I will be able to survive without him. I certainly need to be happy. Nevertheless, I am feeling emotional now. It disturbes me from today till that day comes.

sobs...sobs..sobs...   =(

Off you go, Get lost...

 
Bye bye March 2010


Shoo...shoo...shoo...


Go away...far far away..


Don't wanna see you anymore


Will never miss you, March 2010


All the fools stay far away


Goodbye, March


April Fool is here


April will be a better month


LOADS more to come =)