I am already forcing myself so much.
I am working very hard to my very best.
Do you know, I try very hard not to think.
The harder I try, the more pain.
I will concentrate more.
I will concentrate more.
It is so suffocating.
I am tired too.
Don't make me delete entirely.
Is very easy to click on the delete button!
Is more easier said then done.
Is not by just clicking on the delete button.
Is all in my heart and mind.
I am a human with a heart filled with feelings.
I need time.
What will I gain from deleting the contacts?
You will forget gradually and move on faster.
If I delete, I'll be even worst.
Assumption is always different from reality.
That doesn't apply to me.
I will not move on at all then.
You don't mind not listening to people?
I do listen but I have a choice too.
If I didn't listen at all, how did I even stood up again?
There is no progress at all.
I felt that there were progress of me moving on.
Bit by bit everyday.
Till today I felt I did moved on quite a bit.
Don't push me to the edge.
I can't breath.
I can't take it.
Then I will be away from all of you.
Believe me that one day I will be able to get over it.
Have faith in me.
I am a strong girl but fragile at this point of time.
I will get better with time.
Trust me.
One day I will be the cheerful one you all once knew.
babe, do me a favor and dont force yourself too much... telling yourself "not to think" aint gonna help much... when you say that to your brain, you're already thinking about it...
ReplyDeletei've mentioned this before... everything that happens now is perfectly normal as you heal... no one said it's gonna be easy... but what you go through now will shape you in the future... just ride this through, aite???
give me a holler if you need an outlet to let go of your frustration... even better, ring me up if you wanna hang out... i'm here to lend you an ear, shoulder, anything you need pronto... and yes, keeping you safe too if you wanna club...
Will do Adeline..
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. Without you, I will not know where I ended up. Being extremely depressed, I supposed. I will be fine.. Is the matter of time. But is just so hard to keep him out my mind. All these will shape me in the future and is a good experience for me.
Hmmm...I will disturb you..as I need some advise and a listener. =) Thank you for all the above.. I really appreciate it. I am glad to have someone like you!!! Luv ya..
Oh ya, Alex's and your blog add, I didn't get it that day. Closed the chat too fast and forgotten bout it. Hehe..gimme the link ya..