Cocoa Crave

I want all the Chocolate in the world.

I need Chocolate so badly!!!

Chocoholic to the Chocolate Crave 

*screams*

CHOCOLATE

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Milk Chocolate

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White Chocolate

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Dark Chocolate

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Chocolate Cupcake

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Chocolate Cookie

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Chocolate Cake

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Chocolate Chip

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Chocolate Rice

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Chocolate Spread

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Chocolate Fudge

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Chocolate Mousse 

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Chocolate Indulgence

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Chocolate Ice Cream

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Chocolate Shake

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Chocolate Ice Blended

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Chocolate Candy

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Chocolate Marshmallow

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Chocolate Fondue

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CHOCOLATE WORLD

:-)

I WANT!!!

Eve --> Xmas --> Boxing Day

Christmas Eve 

I was at home watching tv, online, facebooking and chilling out. Nothing much because I was lazy to go out. So I decided to stay home in the end. It's nice to have a peaceful time just being away from people and traffic jams. Plain relaxing at home. Wait.............I had Turkey for dinner. Yumz!!! 

Merry Christmas

I was in Pyramid to buy two Xmas gifts. Yeap, it was a very last minute thingy because the host only notify us at a very last minute. A gift for girl and one for a boy. There was a budget too of RM10. Btw, I had a hard time looking for two suitable gifts. I expected the gifts for the siblings but the host was also inviting some others. So, I can only buy common gifts. Contrary, I ended not buying something common but was assigned. 

Lunch at GeorgeTown, I was craving for Curry Laksa so I had that. They just open on Christmas but sad to sad I guess I won't be back unless there isn't a choice. Well, it won't happen thus, there is no 2nd time going there to eat because the food is merely nice. 

Dinner time, went to Shabu Shabu at Bandar Puteri Puchong.

Food + Friends......Let's eat!!! 

-very own individual pot of soup for each one-

 -eat all you can-

-pork loin : a MUST eat-

 -Rinny and Yinny-

 -Rin 'n' Yin + Yew-

-the girls-

 -my fav vege that I wait for 2 hours-

and 

I decided to ask the waiter

 -busy Shabu ing-

 -Choulyew-

 -Happy Xmas Day-

 -I personally love this pic-

-the host and the sisters-

Super full and the girls decided to go somewhere to get a drink. Sat down at PappaRich nearby, saw the menu then I suggested let's have some icy desserts. Choulyew immediately agreed tho she was the first that gave up on Shabu Shabu.

Hop (drove) over to Snowflakes...

 clockwise : 

Snowflakes Bestseller

Grass Jelly Ice Series

Soya Ice Series

-Grass Jelly Series- 

(red beans, peanuts, grass jelly and pearls)

Extremely filled Christmas. Ate so much and good food. Fulfilling and awesomeness. Yew said such good food that night and I know how to eat. Haha... indeed. :b

Boxing Day

Dinner at Isaac's place. Traffic jammed from Bukit Jalil to Serdang because it was AFF Suzuki Cup 1st leg between Malaysia and Indonesia. Bravo, Malaysia won the leg. Next match will be held in Indonesia. Opps, I guess I was a lil late, the host and few others were having dinner when I arrived. Too shy to just join in so I decided to wait for Rin and Jie. Jie was coming from the same route as me but she almost lost her way, her bro-in-law directed her as he was already there. Rinny came so late till Isaac called him. Anyways, dinner was nice. Briyani, Mutton, Chicken Rendang, Tomato Chugnyand Dhall. Looked like Deepavali dishes, yea some sort. Haha... 

-Mirror Chocolate Cake-

Isaac wanted so badly to go out for a drink after dinner. We went to a decent place for just Pappa Cham and Buns at PappaRich. 

I ate so much the past few days. Definitely the scale shows and additional to my weight. *tsk tsk*

That's my Christmas in year 2010. Hope you had a great one =)

Apple this Time

Dinner time..

Just another kinda healthy one.

Oats with Apple

A very huge cupful of Oats + Milk + Apple this time. 

Is was way more that the Banana Oats with Milk.

See how full it is...

A Soup Cupful 

I posted it on Facebook and I received comments like am I dieting, Enough, and does it taste good?! Answers to 'em - No, I am not dieting! Yes, it's enough for dinner. Definitely, it taste good. The oats maybe a lil tasteless because I used Skim Milk to make it but the sweetness from the Apple guarantee that it will not make you lose appetite. 

Oh I was just thinking should I try it with Orange? 

Watching The Biggest Loser while having dinner. Luckily, Oats with Apple wasn't that fattening. Yet, I feel like wanting/needing to join The Biggest Loser Asia. LOL!!!

Self Version of Last Christmas

This is from a song. Don't sing it. Is for Reflections on the written words.  

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

But, you gave it away

This year, to save me from tears

I'll give to no one but myself

Once bitten, twice shied

I keep my distance but you still catch my eye

Tell my baby

Do you even know me

Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me

Merry Christmas, I didn't wanna recall the memories

I left a note in my heart saying "It's the PAST", I meant it

Now I know what a fool I've been

But if you come to me now, I know you'd fool me again

A peaceful room with family altogether

I am not allowing myself to have thoughts about you

My Gosh, I thought you were someone to rely on

Me, I guess I was a shoulder to cry on

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart

A girl on a cover but you tore her apart

Maybe this year I'll give it to someone special

Maybe and I hope so

Cause last Christmas I gave you my heart

But you gave away

This year, to save me from tears

I give to someone who cares for me

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

But, you gave it away

This year, to save me from tears

I give it to someone who cares for me

And last Christmas

And this year

It won't be anything like

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

But, you gave it away

This year, to save me from tears

I tell myself to let go and it's a PAST

This is a self edited version on Last Christmas. A really nice song but this post differs from the real because the situation here is based on my own. Similar words on certain verse remained unchanged. 

Tong Yuen Day

Happy Winter Solstice Festival

I made a pot of Tong Yuen!!!

From loose flour to a dough to coloured rounded balls

Traditional Tong Yuen with center-filled sugar cubes...

White

-edible-

Green

-cooked-

Red

-cooking / boiling-

Yellow

-to be cooked-

The White with Traffic Lights balls

-ready to eat-

Here you Go

-let's eat-

The oldies use to said this festival is more Grand than Chinese New Year.
To me, it's another festival with good food and family! 

Tong Yuen means Family members getting together
(something like that in Cantonese)

I hope that everyone is happy and have good health plus abundance in the coming years.

Happy enjoying Tong Yuen =D

Yumz!!!

Days I wish not to be ALONE

I never want to be all by myself on

• 10/12/2010 - Past, was with Lasallians
• 11/12/2010 - Past, someone made me felt cared
• 12/12/2010 - Past with beauty sleep to replenish energy of post NLLC

Basically the whole of December 2009 was significant for me. I feel lonely in December 2010 and I don't wanna face it.

Continuously,

• Christmas eve & Christmas 2010 - It's a very Romantic festive season according to people

especially 

• New Year's eve
• New year 2011
• 2-4/01/2011
• 16/02/2011

Never forgetting, 

• My birthday

and lastly, 

• the day  I broke up ='(((((

All because of one jerk...

From then on I was all alone in 2010 so I guess 2011 will treat me better. 

I feel lonely at most times, I don't feel this lonely when my friends are all away previous years but not this year. It's so much worst not having people around me. Well, I got to learn to be alone yet I haven't achieve it though. Just then, I am feeling very lonely...

SIGH...

A week plus in Ipoh for 20th NLLC 2010.

there goes my first 10 days of December 2010 - Forward with Faith

A week for an event job in a Running event.

Suppose to work for 5 days but was on MC the 2nd day of work. 

December oh December

Common cold have not recover till now - cough and flu

I fell sick so badly

I drove the worst that I felt like stopping the car and close my eyes

To the doctor immediately when I reach my housing area

Mr. Doctor gave me an injection and some high dosage of medicine

I am/was drowsy every time after taking 'em

All the above does not allow me to blog about my experience in convention. But I'll definitely blog about it soon because it was a good one in some circumstances. Likewise, I was very emo there. It was exactly a year ago, he was there with me. Everywhere I go, I remembered the laughter, chats and lots. i never forget. 

How true is the FB App?

Are those Facebook applications true?

Sometimes it not up to you to believe.

It's just so real sometimes.

Some funny apps you wish them to be reality,

Some heartbreaking ones you never wish you've clicked on it.

Nevertheless, human are just too curious to know things.

I am one of them too!

I clicked on the app - Phrases 4 Fun again.

"What would be the topic of your chat with your ex?"

"your regrets of losing one another"

This just gave me a thought of him.

Now I question myself if there will be a chance of meeting each other again.

Will there be a possibility to be friend?

I really wonder if this will happen.

How true is this application?

My feelings are diverged,

I wish it will really happen in future and I also hope not to see him again.

How will I feel that time?

If I will have my heart beating on a faster pace or he is just another normal friend.

I'd really want to know it.

Such curiosity strikes!!!

bla...bla...bla...

Two Wallets

I went Langkawi in November last year.

I bought two leather wallets.

Yup, men's wallet and I bought two of it.

No discount for One but there is for Two.

One for daddy and one for no man..

Then came a guy I loved were using it, but not sure if it still in use now!

Anyways, who cares - I'll just think that I trashed it.

As for daddy's, I just gave it to him =)

Over a year since I bought it yet daddy smiles when receiving the wallet.

Dad said keep for CNY.

Hahaha...I hope he likes it.

2 Men

1 Dearest, 1 JERK!

2 Wallets

1 appreciates, 1 trashed

Banana Oats Milk

Let's have a look what I had for dinner!!!

Banana Oats with Milk

Once I saw my teacher had this and I wonder how it taste because bananas in milk will be soft. Ewww... 

Till I tasted it today, it wasn't that bad after all. Most importantly, it's very filling. Yay..healthy and healthy. 

The initial menu was to just have milk with oats. I needed banana to cure muscle cramps. Though bananas maybe fattening but they contain Potassium that gives energy and to help muscle cramps. It also curbs overeating. 

But, I was just thinking if it's too fattening because of milk and banana. Hopefully not. By the way, I drink Skim Milk which doesn't contain milk fats and sugar. Guess, it's not too fattening.

Yay.. this is it.. Yumz... 

Burrrpppp!!! =P

Bumping into our Ex(s)

The sister called from Singapore... I was surprised when her name appeared at the caller's bar. Enthusiastically, I picked up the call. "Hello, yea.. What's up?" Out of my curiosity, she told me that she saw her ex all the was in SG. So did they greet each other? Nope, because she only got the glimpse of him from the back. Then she saw the his face by the side and it resembled her ex. Without hesitating, she confirmed that it was him. They were about to board the same bus but she waited for the next bus instead. She was trying to avoid him. So then, I asked her why she wants to avoid him. No definitely answer, she said just don't want to bump into him. Well, she just don't wish to see his face. Haha... me being a good sister telling her to calm down and not to think of the past. So what if you guys bumped into each other. Not like you're not living life fully and happily. Just don't think about him and wait for your hubby to end work. That's what I told her. 

Later, I was just thinking that it's such a small world. All the way in Singapore they nearly bumped into each other. After so many years not knowing if he still exist or living in KL still, he is now in SG. Good Luck to him. He is a nice guy but no matter what he hurt my sister. That I'll not forget. Moreover, why should my sister avoid him, she is better than before now. She is nicely enjoying life such as shopping and going for workouts while her husband is working. Most importantly, she is now married. She is not being a spoiled wife, she is just waiting for things to be confirmed and start working. 

Besides that, I am also thinking until today my sister do not wish to bump into her ex. What about me then? I pray night and day that I will not see my own ex every time I go somewhere. As compared to my sis, her was years and mine was just months. I wonder how long will I totally over this fellow. When will I not have the urge to not know how is he and If I will not bother his existence? I hope I will be able to be entirely over it and accepting the fact he is my past. I still have to learn. So much more to learn... Life is never easy!

So it wasn't only me that is avoiding the ex in this world filled with realities.

Whatever that did not kill me make me stronger!!!

Of course, you're going to get your heart broken. And it isn't just going to happen once, but a lot. That's just part of growing up, and it makes you stronger. Then you can handle it better next time. You may not get through it yourself, but your friends will help you through it. And you'll be a stronger person because of it. Then one day someone will come along, and it'll all pay off and no one will ever break your heart again.

App via FB

Another day started of with being EMO

It was much better later

Yet, I am still thinking of him the who day

Not very happy with that

But, I try to distract myself  =)

Then, took an application 

phrases 4 fun on Facebook

What would be the topic of your chat with your ex? 

"the pain of breaking up"

I doubt I will ever get to chat with me.

No chance at all, never ever

Sigh...

Let's not think of it and live everyday with a smile!

I am E.M.O.

I always forget how to FORGET YOU!!!

I Miss You

~the hottest love has the coldest end~

SPI's Exposure

I was not ready for Exposure..

This is all because I don't feel a part of the Lasallian family anymore. It had been such a distance for me and I felt left out every time I am back there with them. Therefore, I am avoiding so many happening involving the Lasallians and so, I am always lucky enough to also have some other things to attend. I guess someone is watching over me too. I sincerely thank you for that. This time around, I have another event to attend.

EXPOSURE...

1. SPI - I'm reluctantly in-charge
2. Seremban - I will definitely avoid this state
3. Orang Asli settlement - Not keen on going
4. MONKEY Brains - Kill me, I'll not swallow that

Clearly shown that how not ready I was for the exposure. Getting involve in SPI was my option but it was because of another friend. If I were to choose again, I will not choose this school which is locate in Seremban. I am not bias on any states or schools but I don't want to get myself involve in anything that reminds me of him. What more to say when this is his hometown and Alma Mater. He is not significant to me but from my posts, I  still think of him at times but not affecting me like how it was last time. Pretty more certain that he will not be mine and I know I have move on a much as I could. Time will tell, ha...

Then, off to the Orang Asli settlement was not much of a worry because I had been for camp that I had to stay with them for days. This will only be a one day and a night program. I can somehow survive with orang asli because knowing more about aboriginal is something a Malaysia should. However, the biggest FEAR was to eat Monkey's brains. I am not ready to swallow something so yucky down my throat. I will probably puke what I've eaten for days before I even could eat that. Apparently, this is a luxurious serving of the aboriginal located at Mantin. Ewww!!! Besides, how on earth human can kill another living for their brains only. I mean monkey are not poultry that is for domestic consumption. Just imagine how those people in China/Taiwan who eats the brains. The monkey is alive and yelling below the table and they just open the skull to eat the brain. Oh my  God.. I am speechless, I personally felt that it's too evil. That monkey yelling in pain and they are enjoying the so called juicy savory. YUCKS!!! 

Alright, that's about the Exposure program if I am to go over the weekend. I had to reluctantly prepare myself for that when I had no reasons to not go. Then, I was down with cough and flu. I asked if I don't go for it since I am not well. To be frank, I was really sick. They said if only the partner manage to find someone to go with then I need not go. Unfortunately, there was no one. A part from that, I don't understand why can the partner go with the delegates alone and she need someone. Yes, it's her first time and she is worried she can't handle them. Be fair, I went with my delegates alone last year and I was a freshie in exposure too. I was fine. The reason given was because I am a brave person. At that point, I had no choice and it was too last minutes to get a partner. Sigh...all these made me upset and ponder why I am still a part of this big family. 

Today...a surprise came =) All I know that I need not to go now. WOOOOHOOOOO!!! Because I got invites for.... 

SHOUT! Awards 

The Gender Confused Smart Alex

How can I recover immediately?
&
When will I be fully recovered?

Need some Magical Cure...

This is my status on Facebook. I wrote this because I am down with cough and flu. I nearly fall ill recently and avoiding being sick now. I need to recover as soon as possible because cough and flu are very annoying. Coughing makes my throat dry and cleaning my running nose make my ear drums' hurt. Don't you think I need some speedy magical cure?

So yea, don't be a Smart Alex when you not know what cure I am needing. This person that I knew is not the first time being so. She gets on my nerves at most times. She annoys me when she act like a person that knows it all when she knows ZERO. That's "Smart Alex"!!! Gah...I am mad talking about her, this gender and relationship  confused person... *not discriminating her but she needs to know herself more*

I posted that on Facebook and she being very smart, she thought that I am talking about my past relationship and getting over it. Hell No... I need fast, speedy and effective cure for my sickness but NOT cure for a broken heart. I will cure that and time will take me through. 

Then, there was one I went for a friend's open house and she invited for her Barbeque Gathering some time soon or maybe after this semester. No was my answer to that. Not because I dislike her or what but I am bogged up with other responsibilities. Some time soon is a big no no because finals are around the corner, then I've a convention after that. Thus, how am I suppose to attend. She told me off "You busy or you just don't wanna attend?" I should have answer her both.

Oh why the "Smart Alex" issue linked with this was because I told her I don't often go at night. She didn't believe me and stared at me. She accused me as a party girl that goes out every night. Let me ponder on this, Why do I need to go out every night? I can't find any reason for that. Back to business, she told me that I used to go out every day after classes till night falls last time. I told her that was last time. I not often out when night falls ever since I broke up. Grrr.. She just had to made me said that. 

Oh No!!!

No POST lately!!!

I am so lazy to write stuff but there are tonnes of dramas happening around me. 

Will be back in no time with a slow pace.

(just realized, the last post was a month ago)

La Senza's loves

Exclusively from La Senza

from Beyond Cleavage to Double Push Up Bra up to the 4th Level aka 2 cups Up

Is a MUST to buy especially when you 

Buy ONE and get the 2nd piece at 50% off

One more days before the promotion ends. 

It's seriously a Grrrreat Deal...

Oh yea, I got a set for myself too. 

I am loving it.

No way I'm revealing my size 

*wink*

Wheeee....

Cool LEOPARD printed piece

Wooooots... 

Turn the heat On, babeh - Hot Red

An Care Instruction for us to take good care of our lingerie, Dear Lingeristas

A whole long list on how to care for your undies. 

Study it and watch your cool stunning inner wear.

La Senza Prestige card gives an extra 10% off on promotion. 

Yay... awesome deal...

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La Senza maze, La Senza craze, La Senza Madness

Big day but No manners

When someone wishes you on your Birthday, do have some manners to thank that person and appreciate the blessing. Not so much on appreciating it but the manners to thank people. For God's sake, it was a blessing/wish. It wasn't a curse at all that will make your life miserable. On your birthday, people honor you on your big day. Wishes for you, dude! 

How old are you to not think like an adult and act like a grown up person? No matter how much you hate that person, how  much the person does not matter in your life or even that person does not exist anymore, have the manners dude. Weren't you taught what manners are. Worst when you're a child of educators. you should have good manners and a nice person. Both parents are educating others and you being so boastful does not have any manners. What a shameful thing, disgrace.

Overwhelming disappointment. 

Let's make the wish into a curse, muahahaha... 

Shopped like never before

Shopping Spree 

didn't plan to but anything

 but ended  up with

4 skirts

made in 4 different country

from 1 boutique

It was on S.A.L.E. 

such Good Bargains 

Great Awesomeness

I am loving all of 'em

So freaking happy

exclusively from Zara

I didn't feel this good since a long time

I was mostly on Retail Therapy before this

Spending money like nobody's business for non-essential 

Thus, I am so broke now!

I hope I don't need therapy anymore

but I shop because I need and like the things

I'll work hard to earn money 

To pay debts and for shopping

I think I know why Binie calls me a shopaholic

I strong defend that because I am NOT one!!!

I just love, like and live shopping. 

Jr. Shopaholic, maybe... 

I can... 

Not go to the cinema for movies

Not drink cocktails at a bar

Not eat exclusive meals

Not indulge in spas

But I cannot not Shop!!!

Mummy and Daddy are getting old. I can see the difference from years ago and now. They worked so hard through their entire life even till today. I asked them to go on trips for a break, Mummy do but Daddy don't. Mummy always tell me that Daddy will only go after I complete my studies. I see Daddy is so exhausted every day after work but never once he'd say a word. I don't want Daddy to work so hard at this age by waking up wee hours in the morning to prepare for work, I wish he can stop working but of course he can't because the family needs to eat. 

I can't wait till the day I graduate and have a steady job with a source of income. I want Daddy to rest and do what he enjoys. I don't want to be their burden. Daddy really had enough of work and needs some rest. 

Mummy and Daddy, I  ♥ you

Our photo - The Last and For All

I came across the only picture taken with my phone when we were sweetly together as a couple. Every time when I looked at that picture, I felt so love when I was with you. Then when you first left, I looked at the photograph of you kissing my cheek makes me cry. Now, I miss you once again when I just saw the photo. I honestly say that I felt so loved, so contented and so sweet in the picture. I miss being in someone's arms, I want someone to pamper me and I need to be owned. I miss all of that.

I miss jerkie. Thus, I went to his FB to see how is he doing. As I scrolled down the page, post after post he was doing fine till a post he said he just got himself home after a Hit & Run accident. Bruises all over and body aches. He could not grab whole oh the driver because by the time he got up and held his bike, that fellow left. The driver was such a nuisance, no sympathy and extremely irresponsible. Ouch... pain on his body!! 

I felt uneasy too. I wished I was there or I know how is he now. Though, he is not as significant anymore but he is still someone I knew. I feel sorry whenever any of my friends no matter close nor I just met you once, I don't want to see mishaps involving them. Gah....... Is he severely injured? Skinned arms for sure. Sigh... 

Then again, I know him well enough. I know how he rides his bike. Can't he just ride carefully and be cautious on the road. Every road users are to be responsible and have the duty to care while you're on the road. Well, knowing him who can't even drive patiently just can't be a safe user. I have no doubt that he rode like a mad jerk. Sometimes, I think that he too the cause of accident. He just don't learn after several times of accidents. Bad luck, jerkie!!!

The last and for all I stared at the photo and that's it. The photograph is now kept in a folder that I will not see at any time. I avoid looking at it and I restrict myself from opening that folder because it is filled with moments of you and me, the life we once went through together and now it's a memory for me. Take care, jerkie...

A picture filled with feelings and emotions

Miss - Missing - Missed

You're not My Topics anymore

No matter how much I deny that it does not matters me anymore, how much I don't want to talk about it, a gazzilion times I tell myself to not leave in the past and let the past be the past; I still do think of the jerk whenever I see your name, things that you're involve in, places that you belong to and so on. Even the college's name appears, it's only you. Sigh! Deep in my heart, there is still a cling that I am not fully forgotten about you. Though I don't look like a dead body and depressed but it's hurts. I may smile cheerfully and laugh of loud every day, I do keep quiet and ponder upon our past. I still get upset you no long be with me. Day by day, the time I think of you differs, I admit that my mind is occupied by someone else. However, I am heavy hearted to let go fully of you in my heart. Yet, I have to because you no longer know me. This is sad.

I am glad to say that I don't cry anymore. Though I feel like it sometimes but the tears are all dried up. No more tears are meant for you, jerk. I am not the same since then. I avoid from talking about you, I dislike seeing people that know you. I feel better this way. I am so much happier not relating you in my topics every time. I am even happier when people come and tell me that 'Hey, you looked so much better now. The me that they once knows is back!' How glad when I heard that. Hugs...

I am now very HAPPY.

I SMILE cheerfully.

I am ENJOYing life.

Live - Laugh - Love

I had to survive

I survived


I am still surviving

=)

Stop & Stare

Dear you,

To you who always Stares,

What are you staring at?

Why are you staring at me?

How long more are you gonna stare?

To you who always Stares,

Are you a normal man i.e not a homo?

Are you someone that opposite attracts?

Are you talking nonsense about me?

To you who always Stares,

Don't you know that it is weird?

Don't you know that it is really obvious?

Don't you know that you're caught all the times?

To you who always Stares,

Why are you so shy?

Do you feel the urge to be friends?

When will you have the guts?

To you who always Stares,

You looked so cute every time being caught!

You always smile but I avoid looking at you!

You tried to looked at me when I am near you!

To you who always Stares,

I am shy too.

I blush when I am being teased by my friend.

I felt awkward when your friends...

act funny, giggle, whisper and look at me too.

To you who always Stares,

I never looked at you...

I never dare to smile at you...

I never have the guts to talk to you...

... because you always stares at me.

To you who always Stares,

I can see that you're staring.

I can feel that you're talking about me.

I know that your friends know something.

To you who always Stares,

We started smiling at each other.

I still avoid looking at you yet you smile.  

I miss your shy smile every day I don't see you.

To you who always Stares,

Every time I think of you, I smile to myself.

Every day when I bump into you face to face, I smile.

Every moment I caught you staring, I am proud.

To you who always Stares,

I forgotten my awful past since you appeared.

I want you to notice my existence around that location.

I am so preoccupied by you in my mind.

To you who always Stares,

Another girl is very much obvious interested in you.

The jealousy and anger make me wanna back-off.

But, I want to know why are you staring at me first.

To you who always Stares,

Today was the best day.

Today marks a date my heart throbbing because of you.

Today is going be something I will smile when I think of it.

Today,

I opened the door, I saw the girl around you.

I ignore and never wanted to look at your direction.

I went off after that.

Later, 

I came in again and you turned to look.

That was the brightest smile I've given to you yet.

I am always cheered by you smiling to me.

I then place my books beside you, my friend told me you smiled.

I was so happy.

Then, 

I urged to ask you a question.

If we still have classes for one particular subject.

I stammered and my heartbeat was at a quick pace.

I see that you were stunt.

You looked so cute and make me wanna laugh because...

... you were trying hard not to smile while answering me.

To you who always Stares,

I wonder did I make you wanna say Oh oh oh my gosh.

I will greet and smile if you turn over.

I hope to be friends with you.

To you who always Stares,

All I want to know is why are you staring at me.

I need you to tell me.

When will that be?

To you who always Stares,

Since the semester started...

... till almost the end of the semester.

That was how long it have been. 

~ ~ ~ the end ~ ~ ~

I may be just daydreaming but who cares when I feel happy.

I may be checking this person out but I can't stop him from staring too.

I may be just having the wrong idea but who cares because it is not a crime to have thoughts.

I thank you for allowing my mind to not think of my that someone who don't value me. 

Many gratitudes, 

to you who always Stares.

Faithfully,

♥♥ me ♥♥

Proudly Presenting  - Candyrific Candylicious

On a cool Sunday morning, anxiously I rose thinking of going for shopping. Then, I went. Teehee!!! SO freaking hungry and craving for Japanese cuisine, I went to Sakae. Definitely a full and rather satisfied meal. Though I am still craving for Unagi, Salmon Sashimi, Agedashi Tofu and more. *yum yum*

Mega Sale is going on all around the mall. I want to buy stuff, I want to shop, I can't control myself. August, Mega Sale, August, Mega Sale ; I need more $$$.

Shops to shops, round the whole mall. Trying on shoes after shoes. I liked them all. None fit me!!! How sad. Then, those that fitted had some quality not satisfying. When I almost gonna go and foot the bill, I see some matter on the shoes. Grrr.. So frustrating!!!

In the end, I went home with only a file for my Law notes.

I proudly announced that today wasn't a good day for shopping.

Studies perhaps, my Law notes looked tidy now
*thumbs up*

P/S : I'm gonna do some online shopping. I have all the details, it's just waiting for me to place an order =)

In memorial, GrandMa. R.I.P.

I dreamt when I was napping just now. Is a usual thing that happens to me. I dream quite often and I do remember some of the dreams. I dislike horrible dreams and worst when I feel very restless when I woke up. Mentally tired, I don't know why. Alright, let's share what I dreamt just. The dream seem was about my late maternal grandmother. She passed away some years ago. When she was still alive, I rarely talk to her because I seldom visit her, but Chinese New Year is a definite. This is weird that I actually dreamt of her.

The dream...

     I saw her standing at the grill of my parents' home. What made me scared was she don't have legs. I can't really recognize her at first because she was looking nice, good and healthy. She looked younger and more fleshier. I remembered when she left, she was like stick thin. She smile, I paused for a moment and I yelled Grandma in Cantonese because she used to have listening problem. She smiled again with a bright red lipstick color. I asked her 'How are you?' She smiled. I was about to tear, I think somehow I do miss her. I held my tears and controlled my shaky voice, I said 'Take care always'. She then went down the stair to the little space for the residence to discard rubbish. I stared at her motionlessly and heart feeling sad. She smiled again,  when I turned to look in to my house, she disappeared. Then, I know she is gone. ='(

I am happy to know that she is living good in the afterworld. Rest in peace, Grandma. You will be in my mind even though I seldom spend time with you when you  lived, yet I felt the lost. However, you're my family. I am tearing when I wrote this.

I told my aunt, she said maybe my Grandma is here to tell me something. To inform me that she is living good and peace there. Coincidently, it's the Ghost Month for Chinese this month. I never dreamt of my maternal Grandma. So, maybe at this time she came by for good. I think I should tell my mom that so that my mom is happy for her and to pray for her soul.

In memorial of you, Popo!

Rest in Peace.

A big family of mine

   I am always eager to meet my big family from all over Malaysia. We've bee through a lot in matter of preparation for camps, convention and other events. We all worked together really very well and whenever anyone of us need a helping hand, there sure will be some fellow acquintances lending us a helping hand. I am a not to say junior but I claim myself one because there are still lots of things for me to learn. I'm glad every time when I am given an opportunity to join the organizing team. It's just another learning process, making new friends and strengthning bonds. I always happy to be a part of the family.

   However, the feeling is not the same anymore lately. The eagerness and anxiousness to join every events still going strong. I still attend as much as I could. The determination to contributed my thoughts to the team is continuously burning in me. Yet, whenever I am reunited to the big family, I feel uneasy. I don't know how to exactly derive my feelings at that moment. There were a mixture of feelings. How can I describe further? I am not sure if the problem is within self or it matters others.

   Firstly, to a specific person front the group. We were really close, I would say it's more than friends between us. We shared multiple of our personal stories together. Laughter, sorrow, grief, gossips and obviously a helping hand. Always being there for me and giving me words of wisdom when I was in deep crap. Unfortunately, I was being judged and ditched partially because of that crap. The oerson is not supporting me nor the other party. The person just wanted me to move on and I took too long to move on it seems. I admit that I may took a longer period as compared to the person's. The fact can't be denied that every single human treats every relationship differently. Thus, how can you dutched me by saying that I took a long time.  A part from that, another reason was I changed. I was claimed to have changed to a stranger. I took some time alone and not share so much to this specific person. I realise that if I myself don't want to take the first step of moving on, no one can helped me even I share my problem. This resulting to me being away for some quiet time. Excuse me, I too felt that the person is a stranger to me. I no longer understands the person. Yet, I am still doing my part as a friend. Nevertheless, the feeling of an unknown stranger deep inside. If I'd changed but to a better me indeed.

   Next, the memories I had with all of them were good and memorable. The memories we had definately can't beat the crap memories in reality. Nonetheless, I just can't control myself relating my awful past with you guys. I always remembered the time we spent even though it was a short time together when that person was someone significant to me. That was my best time because It was just a haven because my close friends from the family and my significant someone was with me. The memories were meant to be engraved to me. I know that it was a past in my life and I should forget. Somehow, you people still reminds me of him. I may seems happy spending time, working as a team with you guys but later on when I sit quietly observing you all, I am actually just thinking of him. Always since then and I still do feel the same. That's why I sometimes agreed to join any events reluctantly. I feel awkwardly uneasy.

   Last but not least, I am so occupied. My days in Uni are getting more hectic. I need time for myself especially my studies. Most importantly, most of my closest high school girlfriends are back in town. Obviously, I want to hang out with them. So many years since high school, the friendship still strong and going. I just love them a lot. I feel very much open and comfortable being with them. Rekindling the time we grew up together and now creating more meaningful memories as we grow older. All in all, time for me, myself and I are much need. I apologose for my selfishness for myself and my girlfriends.

   Here in, I think I need to do some soul searching and reflection once again. I dislike the feeling of unhappiness, awkwardness and disbelonging of the big family. A big family I once like being with. I need to be away in order to be happier. All of you said that I looked more happier now ever since the crappy past. You all said that you guys see the old me that you all once knew. The cheerful, bubbly good looking and confident me. I agree that I am so much happier now. But, there is still an impact from you guys. I am sorry if I am to be M.I.A. for some time because I feel pressured after every time meeting you people. I hope not but I really do, I will try to make it back to the big family. Don't worry, I'll be fine.