Can't be Lovers, be Friends perhaps?

To leave and grief because it's impossible to LOVE ?

or

To stay and try being Friends because it's not worth losing a friend that I know I can count on, to cherish and be cherished ?

Either way will be a heartbreak but should be fine, just the matter of time!

___________________________________

Suggestions : 

If I am undecided...

Take a break then decide when my heart is feeling better.

Block him from whatever means of communication.

Try to be friends, why need to block and regret later. 

___________________________________

My Decision...

To be friends!

Try to be friends or I have accepted him as my friend.

But, I still need my space to heal from the impossibilities of loving him as my lover. 

I told him I need time and he said no deadline. 

[Sometimes, I wish he choose to leave me and let me have a hurtful memories of us. Him to be harsh on me but he will never do that.]

__________________________________

He said I am a person worth cherishing in his whole life. 

He will always love and care for me as a friend regardless me opting not to be his friend.

He is someone I can count on. 

___________________________________

I will need to get over him and move on. 

I will take my time to try be his closest friend. 

I cherish him. 

___________________________________

Me to him, 

I may not be your closest friend now as the wound is still fresh. I need my time to heal and accept you as my friend. One day, maybe in few weeks, few months or decades, I will not know if I can be your closest friend. 

Him to me,

Whatever you wish to do, I respect your decision and please tell me. Don't leave me at a dark side. But, you are someone worthy and to be cherished. You will always be my closest friend. 

_________________________________

What I did?

I went missing for few days, by just turning off the wifi on my mobile so he can't text me on Whatsapp. I was trying to concentrate on my toughest and most stressful paper. Finally, a night before my exam, he texted me via SMS saying... 

"I am not sure what is happening but I hope that you're fine. You take care! Good Luck and All the Best for finals and you shall get all good grades that you want. Just to let you know, YOU GOT A FRIEND IN ME"! 

This text moved me to tears. I am uncertain if I still love him or am I touched to have such a friend. It was a mixed feeling. I was disturbed and went to bed. 

On the exam morning, I was extremely nervous and normally I will text him for a chill pill. This time I did not and try praying for calmness. 

It was a break free after exam, came home to rest. I switch on my wifi and replied all messages. Obviously, he is one of them. He left me several messages asking if I am avoiding him. 

We started talking and I try to be as normal friend as possible. Till today, we are still talking but I am no longer so intimate, lovey dovey and clingy in messaging. Yes, we were like that even in texts. 

___________________________________

This was after I decided to be his friend but needed some time off to start talking to him again. Before this, we did went out for dinner together and it was AWKWARDDDDD......yet it went well. I am proud of myself and that should be how friends behave at a dinner.  

Stories on "Dinner Date" later... 

___________________________________

Now, I am fine. I feel good and happy. Though I may be emo at times when I think of it but hopefully I am over him since he is still talking to me, it doesn't feel like I have lost him. We are like close friends talking but the reminder of "just friends" is always there. A constant reminder to myself and for myself to move on! He is warned to not make me emo or I shall leave the friendship!!! 

___________________________________

I Love Him & He Loves Me - We're JUST FRIENDS