It's been quite sometime since I ever thought of my ex-boyfriend. I do admit that recently, I've been visiting his FB pages and studying his updates. Reason me using the word studying simply because that's what I really did. Indeed, been a long time since I last do that. I begin to kept on wanting to know about him. I also tried to hide the list but can't. Nevertheless, that just ended there after viewing his page and I don't have the slightest thought of him throughout the whole time rather or do am I missing him. No, I didn't felt that way.
All went well so as my emotions. Till this morning's sleep I weren't sound asleep. I have a series of dreams and one of it was him. I didn't dream of him for almost/more that a year. I really wanted to continue dreaming, being deep in my sleep to be so close to him and getting to talk to him. Ever since the dreamt of him, I've been thinking of it whole day long. I weren't feeling sad or emotionally down, I am (Yes, till this moment that I'm soon tugging in for another day) adoring the feeling i had in the dream. I smile every time I thought of it.
The content that I dreamt was that I went on a date with him. Totally a new feeling from me being with him two years back. We were getting to know each other all over again, went for lunch then walk around spending quality time together like normal friends. Later, I went home to my parents' and we sat by the staircase, not knowing why we didn't get into the house. We chatted, something happened in between (not kissing) and I asked so what are we now? Friends getting to know each other or??? He smiled and held my hand with fingers inter-locking mine. I am almost melting. Moments later I was opening the door and he told me he want to sleep in for the day and I didn't allowed him. However, he came in to have a sit and I tidied up my room and my dog started jumping on him. He then said "Wow..Hey, you have a dog now"! While I was tidying the room, my parents came back. Sadly, that's the END...
That's how sweet it was. Never wished that I'd wake up from my sleep so that I can see him for a longer time maybe because I really miss him. Imagine me not wanting to rise and shine. I'd try to sleep and continue the dream but I think it was a different story which I can't recall. Not as significant perhaps. Well, I had to say the the Mr. Ex-Boyfriend is someone very significant to me and his departure in my life impacted me so much. Gone Forever. I was very much torn inside. It took me a year to get over him and even longer to entirely move on.
This dream I dreamt disturbed me thee whole day. Making me so lazy because I was supposed to meet up a friend. Yet, I didn't want to. Never wished to have dreamt of this person because if you remember it, it will haunt you; if you don't it will be another fine day. Later, I digested the dream and why would he appear in my dream. Maybe because I never knew that I am missing him so much. Like I mentioned earlier, a long while since so I thought I'm done with him. Well, at this moment I'd say I am done with him. That's why I said I never knew I missed him.
However, I should not be bounded and held back by this incident. Just the thought of the day and that should be it. Or else it's gonna eat me up inside. Then, I'll be emotionally down think of him so much. He is the past, there is a reason he didn't make it till the present here sitting by my side nor ever will he be my future. It was just a dream and dreams when you're asleep maybe not be true or even if it may happen, it will definitely not be now. Get it done, be strong!
If it was a year back or may I have not moved on, I will wished for the dream to be realistic one fine day. I'll be always hoping and think of this sweet moment that I had with him in the dream. Now, I don't want to think so much nor hope that it will one day be real. Going through day by day learning more to enhance myself. iLove myself...
An so, disturbed and he or more like the dream being the thought of the day. So, I texted my best friend telling him that I am emo and things gone worst that I actually dreamt of him. His replied was "Ter...you miss your ex more than me one, sad dy". haha..that actually made my day. I love talking to this guy, he never fail yet to cheer me up but one thing bad is that he replies like a snail. It takes ages at times. I always tell him if I ever need him, I'll die stranded looking for him. Thank you so much and I actually do miss you a lot. [additional note ; He told me that I'm not allowed to miss him because he can't be there(here) when I miss him. awww..how sweet?!] He has so many nicknames but the one I like most is Clown :) my personal clown!!!
Let's not be bothered by what I dreamt of this morning and be thankful for a best friend who always cheers me up. Also, to have a good night sleep now. Not to think so much and stress myself up plus hurting me inside. Smile for happy days with people who appreciates me. Hugs!!!
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