I dislike you but I still think of you

I am feeling bored. In mixture of feelings, loneliness and emotional. Somehow, I feel like blogging but I didn't want to write anything that relates him anymore. I know I should stop writing about him because it will not help me to forget him. I hope this will be the last one. However, I will not promise that.

I don't know how to describe my feeling towards him now. I dislike him and I still think of him at the same time. Do I still miss him? I hope not.

I wouldn't want to know what is going on around him and his life. Eventually, I'd just click on it. Gosh, how can I stop myself from doing that.

I know the best way is to remove him from my friends list on FB. Then, there will be a total cut off from him. I am heavy-hearted to do so. FB  is my only resource that I know how is he. Argh...

I know, I said I should stop knowing things about him and I am also stubborn to remove him from FB. Goodness, I wish I didn't have to choose.

I have another reason why I didn't want to do the latter is because it will be awkward if I were to add him again in future. No one knows what is going to happen in future. Well, I hope we can be friends. Looking at the situation now, it will not happen. Oh dear...

Guess I have a wiser option. That is to hide him on my News Feed in FB. I think I will prolly do that in order to not be emo anymore. Apparently, I did it few times but I deactivated it immediately because I still want to see it. Yes, I see and I am trying not to "stalk" him.

Hide, not to hide. Hide, not to hide. Hide, not to hide. Hide, no to Hide.

I think and guess is best to hide. Is going to be tough the first day of doing so because the anxious to know will be there. As time goes by, I will forget him entirely by doing so, I wish.

So, let's do it...

It's now or Never!!!

sobs sobs  ="(

Goodbye, once my dear baby.

No matter what, I know you exist and I do think of you.

I wish God will arrange you and I to be together that we have no choice but to be lovers.

A difficult decision.

A hard option.

A very emotional situation.

A feeling that kills.

A moment to shed some tears.

A sad Goodbye.

God Bless